The Me Too movement looks like its shaping up to be the final attack on the harmonious relationship between man and woman. For those of you who have kept up with the social causes in the last year or so, you most likely have heard of the Me Too movement. Some of you may have even supported the Me Too movement through activism and donations and that is wonderful. Let me assure you this is not an attack on victims of sexual abuse and violence. This is only my attempt to ask some broader questions about issues that have come about as a result of the growth in the movement’s popularity. Again this is in no way meant to belittle or denigrate women who have overcome sexual abuse and violence.
For a few years now the Me too movement has been on the rise and so has the amount of allegations brought against men. Some men’s names we expected to be on the list of abusers but other names have caught us completely off guard. A lot of high profile people have been caught up in this storm of sexual abuse and allegations. From the president to the lieutenant governor of Virginia there have been many allegations thrown around about alledged abuse of women and children. Some cases have merit and have been well documented and some cases are mere hearsay. I have no problem with well-documented cases coming forth but my problem is with the lack of fair treatment of those who are only facing allegations of wrongdoing where no credible proof has been put forth.
I don’t want to argue the point about whether I should believe these women. That has little to nothing to do with my reason for writing this piece. I feel that we are on shaky ground legally speaking when mere allegation can condemn a person. Yes, we should all want preditors to be punished for crimes against women and children but we mustn’t ignore our duty to treat all people who are accused with a current amount of judicial fairness. This should be especially true in cases where no one has been charged with a crime nor has any investigation been launched. I just see this as a basic fairness issue and a big problem for a country that claims to have freedom and liberty as it’s core beleif.
Along with the allegations equals guilt trend that is happening but there are other issues that are becoming a major issue as well. That being that all men are being put in the same box with some masculine truths about men being labeled as toxic. There is even a new phrase that has been coined for this new revelation. Yes, toxic masculinity is a real thing and I don’t rightfully as a man know how to feel about that. On one Hand, I want to respect womanhood and all that being a woman entails but at the same time I am confused. For one, how is it that women want men to appreciate and respect womanhood but then turn and make being a man criminal.
I know of a few couples that have split over this issue and a lot of my male friends have become afraid to even speak to women in public places. Saying things like good morning sweetheart can get you accused of making sexual advances. I have heard stories of men being fired simply for complimenting women on their looks or clothing. How is saying you look nice today offensive? We are now at a stage where we are condemning the perceived thoughts of others. I wonder how men and women will fair in the coming years with regard to building trusting relationships? I guess the once-weird thing to do, meeting over the internet has surpassed the normal human interactive ways of meeting.
I was raised to give compliments to women and to be polite not because I wanted a woman, but because my family taught me that women should feel safe around me. I guess what I was taught would be considered rapey by today’s standards. Again allow me to invigorate how much I am against anyone hurting women and children that to me is just disgusting. Anyone taking advantage of innocent women and children is the lowest kind of person in my book. However, we can’t paint with such a broad brush that we lose sight of the fact that there have been men wrongfully accused and not every guy that compliments a woman want to rape her.
Sengbe Ben Yosef
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